The Jews Know Everything First

George Bush is surrounded by his most trusted advisors when he asks, “How do the Jews know everything first?”

Nobody can answer his question, but one aide suggests he speaks with Henry Kissinger.

He calls him on the phone.

“Henry, Mr. President here, tell me… as one of the Chosen People, how do the Jews always know everything first?”

Kissinger replies, “I don’t know Mr. President. But if you really want to find out, I think you need to infiltrate the Orthodox community, become one of them and gain their confidence. Then you might discover how they do it.”

Bush decides to take on the task personally, and calls in Hollywood’s best wardrobe and make-up artists to help him change his appearance to that of an orthodox Jew. With the transformation complete he calls Kissinger back to ask him for a few Yiddish phrases.

At 6.00am, Bush arrives in New York’s Orthodox Jewish quarter and dispenses will all his aides and security. He walks the streets until he finds a strictly kosher deli serving early morning breakfast.

He enters looking exactly like all the other diners; he buys a black coffee and starts to mingle. Eventually he turns to one of his kin and says “Vus Muxda?“.

The elderly orthodox Jew replies, “George Bush is in town!”