1.
I know a man so frum, he has two satellite dishes.
2.
A man dies and goes to heaven. There he finds an endless array of appealing foods. And at the dais he sees Hashem Himself! So he goes to Hashem and asks: “Tell me. Who’s your mashgiach?” Hashem answers, “Moshe Rabbenu.” The man thinks for moment, and then says, “I’ll have the fruit plate.”
3.
A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A Rabbi sits down next to him. The Rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzoh. Taking pity on the blind man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man. Several minutes later, the blind man turns, taps the Rabbi on the shoulder and asks, “Who wrote this?!!”
Filed under: Holidays, Kosher Food, Passover, Traditions
Tags: frumkeit, Hashem, kashrut, matzah, matzoh, Moshe, Passover
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I’ve heard the “blind man” joke with various variations, like “He can’t spell.” or “That’s not the way the story ends.” [Make up your own variation.]
–Sarah
A young conservative Jew left his office during Passover to have lunch in the park. He sat down on a bench beneath a tree and removed several pieces of matzoh, as well as several plastic containers filled with charoset, and various fishes in spread form. As he was eating, a blind man walked along and sat down on the bench next to him.
In the spirit of the holiday, the young Jew turned to the blind man and asked, “Would you like to share my lunch with me?”
The blind man replied, “That’s very kind of you. I would be honored.”
Gently, the young Jew took the blind man’s hands and placed a piece of matzoh. A few moments later, he asked the blind man, “So …. how does it taste?”
The blind man paused a moment then said, “Taste?! I’m still trying to figure out what it says!”