Jewish Jokes » Archive
Can You Top This?
“I know a synagogue so liberal, they have a microphone on Shabbos!”
“That’s nothing! I know a synagogue so liberal, they have ashtrays by the seats!”
“That’s still nothing! I know synagogue where they help congregants make it through the long Yom Kippur services by handing out food… ham sandwiches!”
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Filed under: Congregants, Kosher Food, Ritual, Synagogue Life, Yom Kippur
Pest Control
Three rabbis are standing around schmoozing. One of them says, “We’ve got a terrible problem with a squirrel in the the synagogue. Traps; nuts; nothing works.”
The second rabbi says, “Same thing with us. We tried it all. Still we have a squirrel.”
The third rabbi says, “We used to have a squirrel problem, but not anymore!”
Now the other two rabbis are interested: “How did you do it?”
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Filed under: Congregants, Traditions
A Quick Learner
A Catholic priest was manning a confession booth for several hours and wanted relief. He asked his friend the rabbi to fill in for him. When the rabbi said he had no experience, the priest asked the rabbi to stay with him in the booth and observe what he did. The rabbi obliged.
A man confessed that he had committed adultery three times with his secretary. The priest told him to say two Hail Marys and …
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Filed under: Non-Jewish, Rabbis