Matchmaker, Matchmaker…
At the morning minyan, Rabbi Weinstock couldn’t help noticing twenty-something year-old Benny sitting at the back of the shul, looking very sad. After the service, Rabbi Weinstock goes to him. “What’s wrong, Benny? Tell me. Maybe I can help.”
“Oh, Rabbi,” replies Benny, “I just don’t know what to do. Whenever I bring a new girlfriend to my house and introduce her to my parents… no matter how wonderful the girl is, my mother always tells …
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Filed under: Children, Family Life, Fathers, Marriage, Mothers
Hot New Chanukah Present
This year’s best new Chanukah present for girls:
It’s a Jewish Mother Doll.
…
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From Generation to Generation
A sixty year old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, “You’re in terrific shape. There`s nothing wrong with you. You have the body of a thirty-five year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?”
The sixty year old responded, “Who said he was dead?”
The doctor was surprised and asked, “How old is he, and is he very active?”
The sixty year old responded, “Well, he is …
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Filed under: Family Life, Grandparents, Marriage, Mothers
The Price of a Mink
Little Shimmy came home from school one day and found his mother in a new mink coat.
“Wow, Mom. That poor animal must have suffered terribly just so you could have a fur coat.”
…
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Filed under: Children, Family Life, Fathers, Marriage, Mothers
At a Testimonial Dinner
At a banquet for a famous Zionist, a half-dozen speakers rise to eulogize the guest of honor, stressing his integrity, his honesty, his sense of duty, and his contributions to charity.
Puzzled, Mama turns to her husband and whispers,
…
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A World War II Story
Mama’s three sons are in the Army, her daughter is serving in the Navy as a WAVE, and her husband works in a munitions plant. So she decides that she too will do her part to defend freedom. She applies to the Chief Supervisor of Nurses at Montefiore Hospital as a first aid helper.
The supervisor asks,
…
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Filed under: Family Life, Mothers
A Summer Miracle
Sarah was walking with her little son on the seashore, when suddenly a big wave came and swept away the boy.
Desperately, Sarah begged Hashem for help. She would be even still more devoted to Him, serve Him with even greater enthusiasm.
…
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Filed under: Mothers, Traditions
The Missing Sugar Bowl
Mrs. Fisher comes to visit her son Jacob for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Rachel. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Jacob’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between …
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Filed under: Family Life, Mothers
A Messy Divorce
Morris calls his son in New York and says, “Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don’t want to discuss it. I’m merely telling you because you’re my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I’ve made up my mind, I’m divorcing Mama.”
The son is shocked, and asks his father to tell him what happened.
“I don’t want to get into it. My mind is made up.”
“But Dad, you …
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Filed under: Children, Family Life, Fathers, Marriage, Mothers
Adam and Eve and Ted and Alice
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children:
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said was: “DON’T!”
“Don’t what?” Adam replied.
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.
“Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?
“Hey Eve! We have forbidden fruit!”
“No Way!”
…
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Filed under: Children, Family Life, Fathers, Mothers
An Auspicious Inauguration
The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected Susan Goldfarb, the first woman as well as the first Jewish president. She calls up her mother a few weeks after election day and says, “So, Mom, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”
“I don’t think so. It’s a ten hour drive, your father isn’t as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.”
“Don’t worry about it …
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Filed under: Family Life, Mothers, Politics, USA
Away From Home
Two Jewish women are speaking about their sons, each of whom is incarcerated in the state prison:
“Oy, my son has it so hard. He’s locked away in maximum security. He never speaks to anyone or even sees the light of day. He has no exercise; he lives a horrible life.”
…
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A Mother Knows
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
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Filed under: Family Life, Featured, Marriage, Mothers