The Informer
The Jews in a small Russian town found it necessary for their own safety to bribe the informer before any meetings were held, so he would not report their affairs to the Czarist authorities. One day such an important matter came up that the informer demanded three hundred rubles as his price for silence.
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Filed under: Jewish History, Rabbis, Russians
Cultural Differences
The Italian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have wine.”
The Frenchman says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have cognac.”
The Russian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have vodka.”
The German says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have beer.”
The Mexican says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have tequila.”
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Filed under: Russians, Shlemiels & Shlimazels
In Paradise
A Brit, a Frenchman, and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in The Garden of Eden.
“Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit. “They must be British.”
“Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.”
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Filed under: Anti-Semitism, Politics, Russians
Smart Jews
In an all-Jewish school, a Russian man decides to disrupt a math class.
He storms in and cries, “You Jews think you’re so smart, try and answer this! There are seven trains going all around the country with sixteen cars on each train. There are thirty-three people on each car. How old am I?”
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Filed under: Anti-Semitism, Russians
Russian Military Tactical Planning
The commanding officer at the Russian military academy (the equivalent of a 4-star general in the U.S.) gave a lecture on “Potential Problems and Military Strategy.” At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions.
An officer stood up and asked, “Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?”
The general answered both questions in the affirmative.
Another officer asked, “Who will be the enemy?”
The general replied, …
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Jews Go Home
Sometime in the 1970′s a shipment of meat arrives in a town in the Soviet Union. The townspeople line up at the town store to wait to be given their rations. After about an hour, a man comes out of the store and announces, “Comrades, I’m sorry to tell you, but there isn’t enough meat for everyone, so the Jews have to leave.” The Jews in the line leave grumbling.
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Filed under: Anti-Semitism, Russians