Golf Membership Application
An elderly Scottish Jew decided to retire and take up golf, so he applied for membership at a local golf club. About a week later he received a letter that his application has been rejected. He went to the club to inquire as to why.
Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?
Scot: Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are, ma’am, my name is MacTavish.
Secretary: Do you know that on formal …
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Filed under: Anti-Semitism, Circumcision
A German and a Jew.
A German and a Jew were neighbors in Germany. The German had a hatred for all Jews. The Jew had a shop in which he sold yarn, next to the German’s. In all the time they were together, the German never bought anything from the Jew – he never ventured into his shop. One day the Jew walks into his shop and explains to the German that he is leaving for good to Israel. He begs the German to buy a small item from him as a token of their time together. The German refuses. The Jew pesters him so much that he at last agrees. He tells the Jew that he wants a piece of string from the tip of the Jew’s penis to the tip of his nose. …
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Filed under: Circumcision
The Emperor’s New Bodyguard
The emperor is auditioning for a new bodyguard. The first applicant enters, a giant swordsman with a frightening countenance. He releases an eagle that immediately whooshes around the room at high speed. The man draws his sword, swings three times in the air, and a dead eagle plummets to the floor in four pieces.
“That’s amazing!” exclaims the emperor. “You shall be my bodyguard; but first, to be fair, I must audition the two other applicants.”
The …
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Filed under: Circumcision
Buyer’s Remorse
Chaim, a New York Jew, has a thriving business as a producer of notions for the local garment industry. He seeks to expand his business by getting an order from a huge nationally-known company in the Midwest, which happens to be owned and managed entirely by gentiles.
After months of writing letters and making telephone calls, Chaim finally gets an appointment with company’s antisemitic head buyer.
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Filed under: Circumcision, Jewish Blue-ish, Traditions
Out of Time
Abraham was making his weekly Erev Shabbos shopping trip to the Jewish section of town, when he noticed that his watch had stopped working. Fortunately, he soon saw a store with a giant watch hanging over the door. Slowing to look, he saw a display window filled with exquisite clocks, wristwatches, pocket watches, even grandfather clocks.
Abraham popped inside and asked the proprietor how much it would cost to repair his watch.
The …
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Filed under: Circumcision, Traditions
The Wrong End of the Stick
A blue cartoon for Shavuos:
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Filed under: Cartoons, Circumcision, Jewish History, Sinai, Traditions
Bear With Us
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would …
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Filed under: Circumcision, Conversion, Non-Jewish
Three New Cars: Dedicated to God
A Catholic priest, a Baptist pastor, and a Jewish rabbi make a shopping trip together and buy new cars.
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Filed under: Circumcision, Non-Jewish, Traditions