Jewish Jokes » Entries tagged with "assimilation"
Spot the Landsman
An old woman approached a blonde, blue-eyed man. “Excuse me, Mister,” she began tentatively, “but you’re a Jewish boy?”
He regarded her disdainfully for a moment and then replied, “No, madam, I’m not.”
Still uncertain, she repeated her question.
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Filed under: Family Life, Immigration
Osama Bin Laden’s Valentine
Little David’s assimilated family sends him to a public school where they teach Christian holidays. One day, little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that the class is learning about Valentine’s Day. “Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?”
David’s father thinks a bit, trying to decide how best to introduce his son to the truth about Valentine’s Day. To buy some time, he asks, …
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Filed under: Politics
Meet C. R. Eldrich
Abe runs into his old friend Hymie in Miami and yells, “Lipshitz, how’ve you been?”
Hymie whispers anxiously, “Shhh. My name isn’t Hymie Lipshitz any more. I’ve changed it to C. R. Eldrich.”
“From where did you get such a fancy name?” asks Abe.
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Filed under: Immigration, Jewish History
Never Forget!
There was a young fellow who emigrated from Russia to Texas. He assimilated, worked hard and prospered. He had a good life, so he sent for his father to join him.
His father looked like a religious Jew.
The son decided his father would be happier if his appearance were that of a native Texan. So, he brought his father to a barbershop and had his beard and sidelocks shaved off.
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Filed under: Children, Family Life, Fathers, Immigration, USA
Fine for Swimming
A hundred years ago, a Yid comes to America and works as a traveling peddler. One day in July, he’s walking down a New England road when he finds a cool country lake. He takes off his clothes and takes a dip, when the country sheriff arrests him and throws him in jail.
The next morning he appears before the local magistrate.
“Sir, you have been arrested for trespassing. Didn’t you read the sign? It says, ‘Private …
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Filed under: Immigration