Jewish Jokes » Entries tagged with "Chelm"
The Disloyal Customer
A single young man, having no family, often ate at a restaurant in the center of the city of Chelm. He knew the owner, Moishe, and he ate there regularly. The only other restaurant in Chelm, Chaim’s, was located directly across the street from Moishe’s.
One day, the young man went to eat at Chaim’s; and when Moishe saw what had happened, he was totally distraught. He said, “How can you not eat at my …
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Filed under: Shlemiels & Shlimazels
A Bridge to Nowhere
In the village of Chelm, Yankele is walking along the river.
While he’s looking around, he notices Moishie walking along the other side of the river.
He yells to Moishie, “Hey, how do I get to the other side?”
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Filed under: Shlemiels & Shlimazels
Big Business
Two Sages of Chelm, Chaim and Shmuel, buy in the city a jug of shnapps and decide to sell it exclusively for cash.
On the road, going home, Shmuel gets thirsty and says: “I wouldn’t mind to make a little l’chaim. I’ll pay of course, here is a nickel.”
Chaim agrees and takes the nickel.
A little while later, Chaim also is thirsty. He pays a nickel and drinks.
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Filed under: Shlemiels & Shlimazels
Don’t Worry. Be Happy.
The citizens of Chelm decided that it was inefficient for them all to be doing their own worrying.
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Filed under: Shlemiels & Shlimazels
No Cookies
Schmulik from Chelm visited another town. A local man asked him: “How many cookies can you eat on an empty stomach?”
Schmulik replied, “Oh, about five…”
The local guy replied, “No, you’re wrong! You can only eat one. After that, your stomach’s not empty any more!”
Schmulik returned to Chelm and asked Moysheh, “How many cookies can you eat on an empty stomach?”
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Filed under: Shlemiels & Shlimazels
Sun and Moon
In the town of Chelm, the Council of Sages entered a heated debate over whether the sun or the moon was more important. The dispute spread until the whole city was split into the “suns” and the “moons”.
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Filed under: Rabbis, Traditions