Jewish Jokes » Entries tagged with "infidelity"
Do You Talk in Your Sleep?
“Benny, you’re looking oysegematert,” says Laurence. “What’s wrong?”
“I couldn’t get to sleep last night, that’s what’s wrong,” replies Benny. “Mine Hannah was moaning in her sleep all night long, shouting out the same words over and over again. And I got so worried and angry hearing them.”
“So what were these words?” asks Laurence.
Trying to mimic his wife’s voice, Benny replies, “NO JOSHUA NO, I’M TIRED! NO JOSHUA NO, I’M TIRED! NO JOSHUA NO, I’M TIRED! And she kept on repeating them over and over and over again.”
“So what don’t you like about those words?” asks Laurence. “They don’t seem very wrong to me.”
“Of course they’re wrong,” says Benny. “My name isn’t Joshua. So who can Joshua be?”
“Well obviously I don’t know that,” says Laurence, “but why not look at last …
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Filed under: Jewish Blue-ish
A Dying Man’s Last Request
Ninety year old Shmuel is at the end of his life. He’s in a hospital bed with his sixty year old wife Becky sitting in a chair next to his bed. Suddenly, Shmuel opens his eyes and quietly says to her, “Becky, you know I’m going to die soon?”
“Yes, darling,” she replies quietly, “I know that.”
“Well then,” continues Shmuel, “now’s the time to be honest with me. Have you ever been unfaithful to me in all the time we’ve been married?”
…
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Filed under: Jewish Blue-ish
A Fine Explanation
Yankele’s wife Feige came home early and found Yankele in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
Feige was somewhat upset. ‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me — a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a get right away!’
And Yankele replied, ‘Hang on just a minute Feige so at least I can tell you what happened.’
‘Fine, go ahead,’ she …
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Filed under: Family Life, Jewish Blue-ish, Marriage
A Groaner
Morris comes home to find his wife, Sadie, crying.
“I found out from Mrs. Goldberg that you’ve been having an affair with that chippie secretary in your office. Why would you do that to me? Haven’t I always been the good wife? I’ve cooked for you, raised your children, and I’ve always been by your side for thirty-five years. What haven’t I done to make you happy?”
Embarrassed, Morris confesses, “It’s true, Sadie, you’ve been the …
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Filed under: Jewish Blue-ish
Secrets are for Sharing
Miriam and Sadie are lying on their sunbeds. Sadie turns to Miriam and says, “I can’t keep it a secret any longer, I’m having an affair.”
Miriam nods. “So who’s doing the catering?”
…
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Filed under: Family Life