Jewish Jokes » Entries tagged with "matzah"
Aeronautical Engineering 101
Bernie, a young Jewish boy, decided he wanted to be an aeronautical engineer and build airplanes. Over the years he studied hard, went to the best schools, and finally got his degree. It didn’t take long before he gained a reputation as the finest aeronautical engineer in all the land, so he decided to start his own company to build jets.
His company was such a hit that the President of the United States called Bernie …
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Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Passover
Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Passover
10. Save money by using last year’s Matzah (it won’t taste any
different and you haven’t thought of eating it since then)
9. Elbows on the table
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Filed under: Holidays, Passover, Traditions
A Good Sermon
How is a good sermon like a piece of matzah?
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Filed under: Congregants, Holidays, Passover, Rabbis, Synagogue Life
Food For Thought
1.
I know a man so frum, he has two satellite dishes.
2.
A man dies and goes to heaven. There he finds an endless array of appealing foods. And at the dais he sees Hashem Himself! So he goes to Hashem and asks: “Tell me. Who’s your mashgiach?” Hashem answers, “Moshe Rabbenu.” The man thinks for moment, and then says, “I’ll have the fruit plate.”
3.
A blind man is sitting on …
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Filed under: Holidays, Kosher Food, Passover, Traditions
Sixteen Daffynitions
1. JEWBILATION n. Pride in finding out that one’s favorite celebrity is a landsman.
2. TORAHFIED n. Inability to remember one’s lines on the bima.
3. MATZILATION v. Smashing a piece of matzah to bits while trying to butter it.
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Filed under: Family Life, Holidays, Passover, Synagogue Life, Traditions