Jewish Jokes » Entries tagged with "Passover"
A Bitter Tale
The winter of 1994 was tough on many of Europe’s root crops. A week before Passover the Jewish Community of Madrid found that the shipment of horseradish it had ordered from Bolivia would now not arrive until ten days after the Passover ended.
The community needed the horseradish for its traditional paschal ritual of Marror, but whomever they tried approaching from among the EU suppliers, they received the same reply “Sorry! No can do.” In desperation, …
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Aeronautical Engineering 101
Bernie, a young Jewish boy, decided he wanted to be an aeronautical engineer and build airplanes. Over the years he studied hard, went to the best schools, and finally got his degree. It didn’t take long before he gained a reputation as the finest aeronautical engineer in all the land, so he decided to start his own company to build jets.
His company was such a hit that the President of the United States called Bernie …
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A Messy Divorce
Morris calls his son in New York and says, “Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don’t want to discuss it. I’m merely telling you because you’re my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I’ve made up my mind, I’m divorcing Mama.”
The son is shocked, and asks his father to tell him what happened.
“I don’t want to get into it. My mind is made up.”
“But Dad, you …
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Filed under: Children, Family Life, Fathers, Marriage, Mothers
Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Passover
Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Passover
10. Save money by using last year’s Matzah (it won’t taste any
different and you haven’t thought of eating it since then)
9. Elbows on the table
…
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Filed under: Holidays, Passover, Traditions
Yizkor Riddle
Why do we say Yizkor on the last day of Passover? What’s the connection?
…
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Filed under: Holidays, Passover, Ritual, Synagogue Life
Food For Thought
1.
I know a man so frum, he has two satellite dishes.
2.
A man dies and goes to heaven. There he finds an endless array of appealing foods. And at the dais he sees Hashem Himself! So he goes to Hashem and asks: “Tell me. Who’s your mashgiach?” Hashem answers, “Moshe Rabbenu.” The man thinks for moment, and then says, “I’ll have the fruit plate.”
3.
A blind man is sitting on …
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Filed under: Holidays, Kosher Food, Passover, Traditions
The Eleventh Plague
Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible: Pharaoh wouldn’t even speak to him; the rest of the Israelites were mad at him; the overseers even more irritable than usual. He was about ready to give up.
Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above: “Yo, Moses, heed me! I have good news… and bad news.”
…
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Filed under: Jewish History, Passover