Jewish Jokes » Entries tagged with "priest"
Bless Me Father For I Have Sinned
“Bless Me Father for I Have Sinned,” said a young man.
“What have you done, my son?”
“Father, I have fooled a Jew.”
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Filed under: Non-Jewish
Pro-Life?
A priest, a vicar and a rabbi are asked the question, “When does life begin?”
The priest says: “The moment of conception.”
The vicar replies: “The moment of birth.”
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Filed under: Children, Family Life, Rabbis
A Priestly Encounter
A Jew is crossing a busy road in front of a Catholic church. Head down, deep in thought he does not see the big red bus that flattens him.
A crowd gathers round him. A priest from the church rushes over to see if he can help. Not realizing the badly injured man is a Jew he administers the Last Rites.
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Filed under: Non-Jewish
Ecumenical Outreach
There was an amazing accident involving a rabbi and a priest. The cars are completely shattered, though the rabbi and the priest don’t even bear a scratch between them.
The priest looks at the rabbi’s kipa and says: “Oh. You’re a rabbi.”
The rabbi looks at the priest’s collar and says: “Oh. You’re a priest.”
“Yes,” answered the priest.
“Well look at this: both of our cars are shattered to bits, but none of …
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Filed under: Non-Jewish, Rabbis
A Legacy
A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a rabbi are discussing what they would like people to say after they die and their bodies are being prepared for burial.
Priest: I would like someone to say, “He was a righteous man, an honest man, and very generous.”
Minister: I would like someone to say, “He was very kind and fair, and he was very good to his parishioners.”
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Filed under: Rabbis, Traditions
It Happens Every Day
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
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Filed under: Rabbis
A Quick Learner
A Catholic priest was manning a confession booth for several hours and wanted relief. He asked his friend the rabbi to fill in for him. When the rabbi said he had no experience, the priest asked the rabbi to stay with him in the booth and observe what he did. The rabbi obliged.
A man confessed that he had committed adultery three times with his secretary. The priest told him to say two Hail Marys and …
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Filed under: Non-Jewish, Rabbis
Fatherhood
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about:
“Why do you wear your collar backwards?” The old Jewish man asks.
The Priest, being polite, responds, “Well, Sir, because I’m a father.”
“I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal.”
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Filed under: Jewish Blue-ish, Non-Jewish
Bear With Us
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would …
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Filed under: Circumcision, Conversion, Non-Jewish