Jewish Jokes » Entries tagged with "Yom Kippur"
The Penitent
Moshe goes to see his Rabbi. “Rabbi, last week I missed saying Birkhat HaMazon.”
“Why?” asked the Rabbi.
“Because I forgot to wash my hands before the meal.”
“That’s twice you’ve broken the law, but you still haven’t told me why.”
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Filed under: Congregants, Kosher Food, Yom Kippur
The Big Game
Gottlieb called his rabbi and said, “I know tonight is Kol Nidre, but tonight is the European Cup Final, and my team is playing. I’ve got to watch the game on TV.”
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Filed under: Congregants, Holidays, Rabbis, Synagogue Life, Yom Kippur
The Army of Hashem
Jack was coming out of shul; the Rabbi was standing at the door, as he always did, to shake hands.
The Rabbi grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside. The rabbi said to him, “You need to join the Army of HaShem!”
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Filed under: Congregants, Rabbis, Synagogue Life
Can You Top This?
“I know a synagogue so liberal, they have a microphone on Shabbos!”
“That’s nothing! I know a synagogue so liberal, they have ashtrays by the seats!”
“That’s still nothing! I know synagogue where they help congregants make it through the long Yom Kippur services by handing out food… ham sandwiches!”
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Filed under: Congregants, Kosher Food, Ritual, Synagogue Life, Yom Kippur
